It has been hot, hot, hot in our little corner of Virginia, so the boys and I are spending a lot of time finding ways to keep our cool. I'm blogging today over at (Never) Too Many Cooks and sharing one of our favorite summer treats -- a delicious recipe with ingredients that you probably have in your very own kitchen right this very moment!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Being alone with myself and a few thousand others
I traveled to the outskirts of Boston this weekend to celebrate the marriage of a dear friend. Although my friend married in November, she and her new husband waited until this past weekend to gather their family and friends together in celebration. My closest friends from graduate school were there and we fell into that easy rhythm that you can create with the people you carry in your heart, despite such infrequent contact. And it was so, so lovely to share such an important occasion with my friend, who deserves every ounce of happiness that this life has given her.
Because of frequent flier restrictions, I ended up flying there on Saturday and returning here to Virginia today, Sunday. And, since I flew out of our wee small local airport my total commute time round trip was fourteen hours. I didn't really mind though because it is the first time I can remember in eons when I was totally, completely alone. And what a luxury that was! I mean, of course, I was surrounded by people but I was free to focus my mind on whatever I wanted. I decided ahead of time that I would take real advantage of this and make an effort to slow my mind and not think too much. I often miss out on the feeling of things for the thinking of them.
By and large it was a great success. Here are some of the observations I made, most of which brought my thinking back to Oliver:
And finally:
It is so weird this window that we get into the lives of others because of technology. I find it SO odd that a person would carry on a lengthy private phone call, in a normal tone of voice, in a very public and crowded place. Is this vanity? Is it a total lack of consideration? I just don't get it. Someday I'm going to get up the courage to continue the conversation with the person after he hangs up.
Because of frequent flier restrictions, I ended up flying there on Saturday and returning here to Virginia today, Sunday. And, since I flew out of our wee small local airport my total commute time round trip was fourteen hours. I didn't really mind though because it is the first time I can remember in eons when I was totally, completely alone. And what a luxury that was! I mean, of course, I was surrounded by people but I was free to focus my mind on whatever I wanted. I decided ahead of time that I would take real advantage of this and make an effort to slow my mind and not think too much. I often miss out on the feeling of things for the thinking of them.
By and large it was a great success. Here are some of the observations I made, most of which brought my thinking back to Oliver:
- Communication can be a lot of work. It feels pretty good to take a break from it once in awhile. (I've got one kid who doesn't talk and one who won't stop: it can be exhausting!)
- How I feel about myself is sometimes influenced by my perceptions of the people around me. (It's a big world out there with all kinds of people!)
- Feelings of vulnerability can be extremely anxiety producing. (I mean, I was flying for pete's sake!)
- Anxiety over the unfamiliar and the pressure to perform can really impact my ability to be social (Otherwise known as rental car anxiety!)
And finally:
It is so weird this window that we get into the lives of others because of technology. I find it SO odd that a person would carry on a lengthy private phone call, in a normal tone of voice, in a very public and crowded place. Is this vanity? Is it a total lack of consideration? I just don't get it. Someday I'm going to get up the courage to continue the conversation with the person after he hangs up.
I can't believe your wife did that. I mean, it sounds like you are seriously busy with all this website stuff you are working on. What did your mom say? Did she agree with you? I certainly do. And isn't that funny that you and your father are both having cataract surgery in the same year. And it is so good that you finally got to connect with your parents for that 45 minute call after having been in and out of Syracuse, Albany, the UK, the Netherlands and now Russia for the past month! I'm sure everyone here in the waiting area agrees that you are a very cool person.Tomorrow it is back to regular life. I'm not so sure I'm ready. Re-integration can be hard. But now that I'm reacquainted with my quiet mind maybe I can carry that with me for awhile.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Suddenly Summer
Today was one of those days when it really felt like summer vacation -- and not just because the calendar says it is the middle of June, but because our attitude says so. We're busy finding our groove and trying to beat the heat. We don't have air-conditioning and with a week of temperatures in the mid-nineties, it has been a challenge to keep myself the kids from being too cranky. Lucky for us, we live within just a few miles of some gorgeous swimming holes, which is where we spent a few hours today ignoring the heat. Unfortunately I remembered my camera but forgot the memory card. The heat will make you think you're losing your mind like that. So you'll just have to picture two giddy boys and their mama frolicking in the ice-cold river. And trust me, it was all that and more!
Once home again the kids and I engineered this awesome pirate/space ship by hanging all the sheets, blankets and towels from the clothesline.
Sami dragged his sleeping bag out there, declaring that he was going to sleep under the stars. Then the two kids spent a few hours lounging out there with books while I tried to figure out what to do with a staggering amount of laundry that had somehow spontaneously generated in my laundry room and which I now could not dare to hang on the clothesline. At bedtime tonight Sami lasted about three and a half minutes out there before throwing open the back door and indignantly telling us that the rabbits were making too much noise. Then he went upstairs, dragging his sleeping bag behind him, and climbed into bed with his brother.
Also in some weird twist of events, Oliver has taken a sudden liking to a basket of Little People that has been sitting in the corner of his room. I just don't even know what to say about it, really. Oliver has never much been one to play with toys and suddenly I find him zooming cars back and forth.
And, as if all that weren't enough to make this a really great summer vacation kind of day? Just look at the broccoli we had for dinner tonight:
Once home again the kids and I engineered this awesome pirate/space ship by hanging all the sheets, blankets and towels from the clothesline.
Sami dragged his sleeping bag out there, declaring that he was going to sleep under the stars. Then the two kids spent a few hours lounging out there with books while I tried to figure out what to do with a staggering amount of laundry that had somehow spontaneously generated in my laundry room and which I now could not dare to hang on the clothesline. At bedtime tonight Sami lasted about three and a half minutes out there before throwing open the back door and indignantly telling us that the rabbits were making too much noise. Then he went upstairs, dragging his sleeping bag behind him, and climbed into bed with his brother.
Also in some weird twist of events, Oliver has taken a sudden liking to a basket of Little People that has been sitting in the corner of his room. I just don't even know what to say about it, really. Oliver has never much been one to play with toys and suddenly I find him zooming cars back and forth.
And, as if all that weren't enough to make this a really great summer vacation kind of day? Just look at the broccoli we had for dinner tonight:
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Summer School
It strikes me as not one bit odd that we do a lot of things backwards around here. And if you knew me it also might not strike you as odd. So when all my facebook friends are posting that WooHoo! It is the last day of school!!! We are in full swing homeschool mode. You see, December through February really is no time for me to try and teach anybody anything. During those long, cold winter months I'm lucky if I can get everyone's teeth brushed. So for us it just works out better to capitalize on the light and energy of these extra long summer days. I'm also happy to report that I've had more fun with our schooling endeavors this Spring/Summer than ever before. As with the sleeping, or maybe because of it, something has shifted for Oliver in the schooling department. Learning is easier. Teaching is easier. And overall, the whole thing seems a lot less stressful for both of us.
We have also decided to homeschool Sami at least for his Kindergarten year. If you had told me pre-kids that I would be doing this I'd wonder what you had been smoking. But I also would have been surprised to learn that I actually like having my kids with me so much. And I love watching them learn. There are other reasons, of course, like 7.5 hour school days with just 20 minutes of recess for five year olds. ... but I'll save that for some other post. Or some other blog.
In the meantime, here's a little of what we did today in our little green school house:
Sorting and counting.
Quantity -- this is something that has been especially hard for Oliver but he's getting there! (I cut the numbers out of sandpaper and they are great for all kinds of activities)
Adding and subtracting -- we're using the counting trays for this and Sami is learning to check his work with a calculator. He is very motivated to learn math at the moment because he's planning a vegetable stand where he can sell the stuff he's grown in his little plot out back.
The game hang man has been a big hit with Sami. He is constantly on the lookout now for words he thinks I won't guess. Do you sense a bit of competitiveness? Don't know where he got it!
We're also working on creating, continuing and reproducing patterns. Both boys really love this activity that is probably also great for fine motor skills -- I just hooked chopsticks together with rubber bands and filled a box with different kinds of objects and the kids use the chopstick tongs to pick things out of the box.
Another thing about homeschooling? It has made me very crafty.
And, of course, there is also recess. Or rather recesses:
Not bad for a day in the life of two homeschooled boys and their mama, I'd say.
We have also decided to homeschool Sami at least for his Kindergarten year. If you had told me pre-kids that I would be doing this I'd wonder what you had been smoking. But I also would have been surprised to learn that I actually like having my kids with me so much. And I love watching them learn. There are other reasons, of course, like 7.5 hour school days with just 20 minutes of recess for five year olds. ... but I'll save that for some other post. Or some other blog.
In the meantime, here's a little of what we did today in our little green school house:
Quantity -- this is something that has been especially hard for Oliver but he's getting there! (I cut the numbers out of sandpaper and they are great for all kinds of activities)
Adding and subtracting -- we're using the counting trays for this and Sami is learning to check his work with a calculator. He is very motivated to learn math at the moment because he's planning a vegetable stand where he can sell the stuff he's grown in his little plot out back.
The game hang man has been a big hit with Sami. He is constantly on the lookout now for words he thinks I won't guess. Do you sense a bit of competitiveness? Don't know where he got it!
We're also working on creating, continuing and reproducing patterns. Both boys really love this activity that is probably also great for fine motor skills -- I just hooked chopsticks together with rubber bands and filled a box with different kinds of objects and the kids use the chopstick tongs to pick things out of the box.
Another thing about homeschooling? It has made me very crafty.
And, of course, there is also recess. Or rather recesses:
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
I almost forgot. ...
Today is the 8th of the month and that means that we are one day into our fifth month of sleeping. I sometimes can't get over my good fortune. Last Saturday my boys slept until 9am! And so did the rest of us. And tonight? Oliver said this:
Yes, Oliver got a communication device last week. He carries it around with him everywhere -- I think he likes the weight of it. Since he brought it home the two of us have spent a lot of time curled up together practicing. It has been fun and I'm optimistic that this might be the key to helping Oliver communicate more easily. I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
On the Road and Biking with the Boys.
OK, so: The Vacation.
A good friend of ours moved to Georgia for the summer and when she excitedly told us about the adventures in store for her wonderful family, she let it slip that the place where she was going was a golf cart community. Know what that is? Neither did I. Turns out that Peachtree City, GA, was planned and built around a series of golf cart paths that people can -- and do -- use as an alternative to driving cars. There are more than 90 miles of multi-use paths linking just about everything in the city together. I suppose there are golf courses in the area. There are plenty of golf carts. But for us it was all about the biking.
I'm not sure what I imagined, probably a little something like Switzerland where just about everything is linking by biking and hiking trails and where every small village has it's fair share of restaurants, cafes and bakeries where you can stop and refuel along the way. This was not that. The tourism office was closed (under renovation) when we visited and when I asked several residents where we could find the city center, they directed us to the main shopping area which was a series of giant, swank, outdoor malls -- not the kind of place I'd visit ordinarily and definitely not the kind of place I'd visit with kids on bikes.
Still, there was a gorgeous lake, lots of parks and green areas and we had no trouble finding all kinds of places to explore. Once I figured out that we would not be stopping at cafe's along the way for refueling I simply packed lots of energy food and we were good to go. The boys had a ball. One day we biked for more than four hours, stopping now and then for breaks along the way, and neither one uttered a word of complaint. And best: we discovered the Peachtree City BMX track! Sami and Oliver were in bicycle heaven, riding each day until we dragged them off the track!
It took us two days to drive to Georgia and we opted to stop frequently along the way to see what we could discover. I was amazed -- truly amazed -- at what a beautiful, friendly country we discovered. In Radford, Bristol and Damascus, Virginia, and in Athens, GA, we discovered miles and more miles of bicycle trails. In Buchanan, Virginia we found the Rhine River Inn just as the clock was striking hungry for lunch. In Centerville, SC, we lucked upon a small, beautiful, entirely empty beach on lake Hartwell where the boys could forget the six hours they just spent in transit. And in Athens, again, we discovered Jittery Joe's Coffee -- which fueled our drive home and has kept the vacation memory alive each morning since we returned with it's special aroma.
I can't say enough about my two boys. They were phenomenal. Superstars, really -- so go with the flow, up for anything, that I sometimes forget that they are only 5 and 7 years old.
All in all, it was a phenomenal vacation. We'll miss our good friends but something tells me that there will be more road trips on our horizon this summer. And Georgia? She'll be on my mind.
A good friend of ours moved to Georgia for the summer and when she excitedly told us about the adventures in store for her wonderful family, she let it slip that the place where she was going was a golf cart community. Know what that is? Neither did I. Turns out that Peachtree City, GA, was planned and built around a series of golf cart paths that people can -- and do -- use as an alternative to driving cars. There are more than 90 miles of multi-use paths linking just about everything in the city together. I suppose there are golf courses in the area. There are plenty of golf carts. But for us it was all about the biking.
I'm not sure what I imagined, probably a little something like Switzerland where just about everything is linking by biking and hiking trails and where every small village has it's fair share of restaurants, cafes and bakeries where you can stop and refuel along the way. This was not that. The tourism office was closed (under renovation) when we visited and when I asked several residents where we could find the city center, they directed us to the main shopping area which was a series of giant, swank, outdoor malls -- not the kind of place I'd visit ordinarily and definitely not the kind of place I'd visit with kids on bikes.
Still, there was a gorgeous lake, lots of parks and green areas and we had no trouble finding all kinds of places to explore. Once I figured out that we would not be stopping at cafe's along the way for refueling I simply packed lots of energy food and we were good to go. The boys had a ball. One day we biked for more than four hours, stopping now and then for breaks along the way, and neither one uttered a word of complaint. And best: we discovered the Peachtree City BMX track! Sami and Oliver were in bicycle heaven, riding each day until we dragged them off the track!
It took us two days to drive to Georgia and we opted to stop frequently along the way to see what we could discover. I was amazed -- truly amazed -- at what a beautiful, friendly country we discovered. In Radford, Bristol and Damascus, Virginia, and in Athens, GA, we discovered miles and more miles of bicycle trails. In Buchanan, Virginia we found the Rhine River Inn just as the clock was striking hungry for lunch. In Centerville, SC, we lucked upon a small, beautiful, entirely empty beach on lake Hartwell where the boys could forget the six hours they just spent in transit. And in Athens, again, we discovered Jittery Joe's Coffee -- which fueled our drive home and has kept the vacation memory alive each morning since we returned with it's special aroma.
I can't say enough about my two boys. They were phenomenal. Superstars, really -- so go with the flow, up for anything, that I sometimes forget that they are only 5 and 7 years old.
All in all, it was a phenomenal vacation. We'll miss our good friends but something tells me that there will be more road trips on our horizon this summer. And Georgia? She'll be on my mind.
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Sweet Expansion
Ugh. I'm so tired right now I could puke. Or maybe I feel that way because I just inhaled three Klondike bars. I tend to go for the high-fat, high-sugar foods when I'm exhausted. But no, no, don't worry. I know what you are thinking and Oliver is still sleeping to the tune of 12 hours last night thank you very much. No, I'm totally wiped out because, oddly enough, I'm lucky enough to have someone help me look after the kids these days and so I can finally scrape out a little time for myself. It has been years since I had this kind of luxury. Years. My world is expanding and it is a little exhausting but mostly exhilarating.
I've been taking a yoga class once a week for the past 6 months and yesterday my instructor decided to kick it up a notch and take us through a Kundalini series designed to target the lymphatic system. She said it was the easiest one and if that is true I'm going to consider dropping out because my ass has been kicked. I felt pretty good during the session even though I kind of sensed I would be sore afterwards. Sore is a complete understatement. I'm on the second floor of our house right now and I can't even contemplate going downstairs for another Klondike bar because I doubt I would make it back up again.
And if that weren't enough, I volunteered to help out our local autism group which had a table set up to do face painting at an event today. Sure, I said gamely, not realizing what I was getting myself into. First, the place was packed and since we were right inside the door every kid passed right by our booth and ended up in line if he or she could talk his insane parents into standing in one of the the 90-minute long lines. (I mean seriously: who would wait that long to have their kids face painted?!) Secondly, there weren't enough chairs to go around so I ended up squatting in front of all those lovely, squirmy kids for four hours. Yes, I said four hours -- at the end of which I got chewed out because I had the nerve to tell some lady that yes, I really was too exhausted to paint even just one more grubby little cheek even though she didn't know there was a face painting table until just now when I was packing up to go. Then I cursed myself for biking to the event despite the fact that I was congratulating myself for it on the way there. I barely made it home and when I did the ingesting of the Klondike bars started. I took a short break from sucking in the calories to paint a rocket and a lightning bolt on the most goregously grubby cheeks framed by red hair that I know. Then I kicked everyone out of house -- I mean, I politely asked hubby to take the kids to the park -- grabbed my third and I swear my last Klondike bar and came upstairs to blog. I've been missing this place!
I may never again get out of this chair. And that would make me very happy because then at last I would have a chance to write the post I've been meaning to about the extra super spectacular vacation that we took last week.
So even though I'm tired, I hope I never paint another cheek, I'm not sure my abs, arms or ass will recover from the yoga (or the ice cream), I still feel pretty good. I feel wide and full -- and not just from the Klondike bars. After years and years of contracting, of pulling in and focusing on the closest, most important things -- it feels pretty damn good to feel myself exhaling into the sweet, sweet expansion.
I've been taking a yoga class once a week for the past 6 months and yesterday my instructor decided to kick it up a notch and take us through a Kundalini series designed to target the lymphatic system. She said it was the easiest one and if that is true I'm going to consider dropping out because my ass has been kicked. I felt pretty good during the session even though I kind of sensed I would be sore afterwards. Sore is a complete understatement. I'm on the second floor of our house right now and I can't even contemplate going downstairs for another Klondike bar because I doubt I would make it back up again.
And if that weren't enough, I volunteered to help out our local autism group which had a table set up to do face painting at an event today. Sure, I said gamely, not realizing what I was getting myself into. First, the place was packed and since we were right inside the door every kid passed right by our booth and ended up in line if he or she could talk his insane parents into standing in one of the the 90-minute long lines. (I mean seriously: who would wait that long to have their kids face painted?!) Secondly, there weren't enough chairs to go around so I ended up squatting in front of all those lovely, squirmy kids for four hours. Yes, I said four hours -- at the end of which I got chewed out because I had the nerve to tell some lady that yes, I really was too exhausted to paint even just one more grubby little cheek even though she didn't know there was a face painting table until just now when I was packing up to go. Then I cursed myself for biking to the event despite the fact that I was congratulating myself for it on the way there. I barely made it home and when I did the ingesting of the Klondike bars started. I took a short break from sucking in the calories to paint a rocket and a lightning bolt on the most goregously grubby cheeks framed by red hair that I know. Then I kicked everyone out of house -- I mean, I politely asked hubby to take the kids to the park -- grabbed my third and I swear my last Klondike bar and came upstairs to blog. I've been missing this place!
I may never again get out of this chair. And that would make me very happy because then at last I would have a chance to write the post I've been meaning to about the extra super spectacular vacation that we took last week.
So even though I'm tired, I hope I never paint another cheek, I'm not sure my abs, arms or ass will recover from the yoga (or the ice cream), I still feel pretty good. I feel wide and full -- and not just from the Klondike bars. After years and years of contracting, of pulling in and focusing on the closest, most important things -- it feels pretty damn good to feel myself exhaling into the sweet, sweet expansion.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Changing my M.O.
Seems like my new M.O. is to pop in here every four weeks heralding another sleep-full month and then disappear into the happy slumbering ether. Well, I'm getting a jump on myself this time because it won't be another full month of sleep until the 7th of the month. But if I waited 'till then I'd feel obligated to post again about how incredible, absolutely amazing it feels to well, you know, sleep. And it is. But there are lots and lots of other things going that I want to write about, too.
Like the fact that my two boys are now readers! I think I mentioned that a few weeks back I made a commitment to myself to focus more on teaching the boys -- especially Oliver -- to read. Well, one day, not too far into our reading odyssey, I sat down on the couch with the two boys and a small white board. Carefully I laid out the word MAT for them, starting with the sounds of the A, then the T, then the AT together, then the M. Alrighty, I said, now you have all the sounds, let's link them together and see what word this spells. Before I could say another thing, Oliver quietly read the word. He went on to read word after word and I actually saw the look on Sami's face change when he realized that his brother could do something that he could not.
It was quite a moment for all of us.
Since then, Sami has actually developed a greater fluency but Oliver continues to amaze and inspire me. I'll admit that I had been afraid to go down the reading road with him for quite awhile -- afraid I guess that it would be an exercise in frustration. It turned out to be something far different.
Time and time again this boy totally amazes me. You'd think I'd be used to it by now but it always leaves me amused at myself: I am such a slow learner! When Oliver is ready to do something he does it. We still have a long, long way to go but my boy and I? We're both making progress.
Like the fact that my two boys are now readers! I think I mentioned that a few weeks back I made a commitment to myself to focus more on teaching the boys -- especially Oliver -- to read. Well, one day, not too far into our reading odyssey, I sat down on the couch with the two boys and a small white board. Carefully I laid out the word MAT for them, starting with the sounds of the A, then the T, then the AT together, then the M. Alrighty, I said, now you have all the sounds, let's link them together and see what word this spells. Before I could say another thing, Oliver quietly read the word. He went on to read word after word and I actually saw the look on Sami's face change when he realized that his brother could do something that he could not.
It was quite a moment for all of us.
Since then, Sami has actually developed a greater fluency but Oliver continues to amaze and inspire me. I'll admit that I had been afraid to go down the reading road with him for quite awhile -- afraid I guess that it would be an exercise in frustration. It turned out to be something far different.
Time and time again this boy totally amazes me. You'd think I'd be used to it by now but it always leaves me amused at myself: I am such a slow learner! When Oliver is ready to do something he does it. We still have a long, long way to go but my boy and I? We're both making progress.
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