Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sweet little lies

I'm not sure but I think Oliver told me a lie today! We didn't have a very good night of sleep last night so by 2pm Nik and Sami were both napping in the boy's bedroom. I took Oliver in our bed to read to him a bit in hopes that he would soon fall asleep as well. After a few pages he turned to me and said: "I want potty." "OK," I told him, "go and then come right back." But he didn't even pretend to go to the bathroom. Instead he went to the toy bin in the hallway. So I called him back. Then, a few minutes later he tried it again: "I want potty." Curious now, I said the same thing -- go and come right back. And for the second time Oliver used the opportunity to make a grab for the blocks that were stacked in the corner of my room instead of actually heading in the direction of the bathroom. I was pretty amused at both his lie, his following lack of pretense, and my own secret thrill that my little sunshine boy Oliver was USING WORDS to LIE to me!!!

I'm trying very hard not to be overly optimistic about Oliver's sudden willingness to try and use words to communicate. There are still plenty of times when words fail us. For instance, there are still lots of times when I ask: "What do you want?" and he replies: "Want. Yes." But yesterday, after we went to the track he told Nik: "That was fun!" And when I asked him how his food was he surprised me by replying that it was good. He has also been very assertive when reclaiming things that his little stinker bother has taken from him: "That's my cookie!" or "That's my toy!" He has even started to make a little joke by asking for his brother, RT, every time we get into the car. "He's in school," I tell him. Then he asks again and again, laughing like it is the funniest joke ever.

I still really wish I knew how to help him understand language more easily. There are times when I am trying to communicate something to him, even something very simple, and no matter how I try I cannot help him to understand. But there are an equal number of times these days when I am surprised and thrilled by just how much he DOES understand. I fell into a several-day funk last week over an instance where I just couldn't make Oliver understand something. He had two items and I wanted him to bring them both to me. He kept putting one down and picking the other one up. Poor guy. He was really working hard to understand me and I was getting more and more agitated. It is hard sometimes for me to remember to celebrate what Oliver is ABLE to do rather than focus so much on what he can't. Luckily though, when I get down Nik is usually able to knock some sense in to me and then it isn't all that hard to appreciate just how amazing our little liar really is!


  1. I'm happy to hear that your son has learned to lie. Seriously! That's huge.

    I'm also happy to announce that you won the book tonight! Come on over and see:


  2. Anonymous3:26 PM

    I think it is huge that Oliver is able to speak..( ie. form words:) We all have our battles, but sounds like he is starting to get it!!!


  3. He sounds as if he's doing so much!

    I sympathize with the feeling of not quite trusting new developments, but he's definitely making big leaps.

  4. Anonymous8:50 AM

    YAY FOR LIES!!!! that is wonderful news! so inventive of Oliver and great to imagine his plotting. hmm, i'll tell mom i'm going to use the potty so she'll let me go alone and THEN i'll...

    i relate to the feelings though, both the elation at progress and pause at areas of challenge ahead.

  5. So exciting. Makes me think how I seem to see the "cogs" turning in Charlie's mind as he throws out words to get his point across.