Friday, June 27, 2008

Anything you want, my dear.

Making choices has always been hard for my boy. I'm not sure I understand why, but if you hold two items up in front of him and ask him to choose which he wants, there is no thought behind it, no real agency, he merely grabs one to please. I think this has a lot to do with why the whole Yes/No thing is so hard for Oliver. If you ask him a question like: Do you want this? He will normally answer yes. Not because he wants the item but because usually a yes answer works.

This morning, however, I served Oliver up some of my favorite baked oatmeal for breakfast. Normally this is a winner with my boys -- think warm oatmeal cookies with milk!! But this morning Oliver just picked at the food. From my spot at the counter where I was making bread I kept reminding Oliver that he needed to eat before we could do anything else. After about the 10th time of urging him to eat, Oliver stood up, picked up his bowl in both hands, held it out to me and said: "I don't want this!!"

"Oh, um. Ok. What do you want?" I asked him.



"Waffles. Yes!"

So waffles it was.

On the one hand, I was thrilled. Talk about communication! But when it happened again at lunch I started to wonder if maybe communication is over-rated :-)

Not that I'm complaining or anything.


  1. LOL. It's the old "be careful what you wish for" scenario, isn't it?!

    Nik still struggles with communicating choices though I think he has decided preferences. If only we could get them connected...

  2. Wow, I would be so thrilled. But I know what you boys with autism are so much easier to deal with than their very, very verbal brother!

  3. That is so amazing to me how he will just come out with a beautiful sentence like that. With Andrew it is so different because when he tries to say a sentence, the Apraxia causes everything to get all jumbled up. Then he just gets frustrated and gives up. He will communicate when he wants another choice, by pushing away the food I am offering and giving me his one word of what he wants.

    Oliver is doing so great! I can't wait to hear about all the adventures he will have on your trip to Europe. I bet Nik's family will be so excited to see all the progress in him.

  4. waffle sandwiches?

    have to ask, did he ask again at dinner?////

  5. Anonymous7:34 AM

    WOW! go oliver!

  6. :-)

    Oliver is growing before our eyes!

    We're quite partial to waffles around here. Henry has gone through stages where he eats them every day.

    That's the problem with these guys- we get so excited when they TELL us something- I have to be careful not to let Henry become a little dictator, not to do whatever he says, just because he SAID it.

  7. That's the problem with this business of developing communication skills. *LOL* They get to start demanding things and changing the breakfast menu. :-)

    GO Oliver!

  8. Wonderful, you better not complain!!LOL Go Oliver, that is beautiful! You guys are really making progress. It is funny that Oliver usually answers yes, Wyatt, always answers no. Maybe it is a half empty, half full kind of thing!