Thursday, October 24, 2013

looking ahead hopefully

i wish so many things weren't hard for me. everything that comes easily to other people is not simple for me. i sometimes wonder if i will ever find my way. there are so many things that i would like to do that are impossible for me because i cant make my body work. i would like to be able to play the piano but it is too hard to make all my fingers work together. i make all the compositions in my head and listen to them when i try to sleep. the music is like really tiny moments of water and light playing together making an all day rain. i think someday i will be able to write it down but i have to learn how to write music first. i have much to learn.

i feel hopeful about the future. i will go to school soon where i will learn with other kids. i have learned about other people like me who type to talk and they help me think my future will not be as lonely as my past.



  1. Oliver, you are a poet. I believe you will get there. Look how far you've come! Loneliness is hard, the hardest -- but when you can connect with others the way you are doing now with your words -- the world will open up to embrace you. I know it. Love from a friend of your mom's. xo

  2. I attended a Beethoven symphony recently and learned that Beethoven was deaf when he wrote it! He could hear the music in his head I guess, just like you. Anything is possible! And I agree with what Kal said about loneliness. I was so lonely until I found some friends online who understood about my family.

  3. i am learning about beethoven in homeschool. he wasn't a very happy man. i hope i can have happiness and music.

  4. You make me smile Oliver!

  5. You remind me to look ahead hopefully too! I appreciate it. Sometimes when I read something so honest and open and descriptive, it makes me feel less lonely too. Thank you for writing, Oliver.

  6. Anonymous12:47 PM

    hi, oliver. i think there are many ways to have a voice. the most obvious voice is a verbal one and we're conditioned, in society, to believe that there's nothing else. but there's also writing; and composition; and mathematics; and motion (like riding your bike). these are all ways in which you express your unique being. these are the voices you've collected for yourself. i think over time, you'll strengthen and refine the voices you've already found and collect even more as you move into more experiences. there are many voices in this world to explore beyond the default voice most come here equipped with (and the truth is many people who have the default-voice-setting do not always use it as well as they could to communicate). the voices in this world to explore are as endless as your curiosity. have you ever considered photography (on an iphone/ipad/standard camera) to show others how you see the world? no matter what you choose or what works best for you, i think you will be a fine voice collector. thank you for sharing your thoughts.